What’s better: to live long into your old age, frail and suffering with a low quality of life, or to live your dreams and die a little younger? If dessert is involved, I'd say the latter. I am glad we're on the same page ;) but this IS a very timely topic. We'll get to live a decade longer than our grandparents, I'd love to live those extra years being autonomous, not plonked on a chair surrounded by strangers and busy underpaid nurses.
I hear you Debbie. Caring and caregiving is tough continuous dilemma, made even tougher by dementia, as you know very well. This is a thought provoking and difficult article. I don't think you're being hypocritical, there is a lot of love and care there.
I keep asking and gently probing for clarification of wishes. Dad voiced what he wanted even when he had bad days. It's easier with Mum. As Dad got worse we dispensed with the 'good for you' thoughts and he had a little whisky now and again, I found his favourite food. Towards the end I think Dad ate more to keep us happy than actually being hungry or enjoying food..but his eyes sparked at the little whisky ;-)
We do our best, we listen to the wishes of our loved ones that we care for, and hopefully we curate quality moments, memories.
Now the challenge is for us to treat our elderly how we wish to be treated. For me, it's so natural to fall back into the protective cotton-wooling. I really need to be mindful to be true to my beliefs and values.
What’s better: to live long into your old age, frail and suffering with a low quality of life, or to live your dreams and die a little younger? If dessert is involved, I'd say the latter. I am glad we're on the same page ;) but this IS a very timely topic. We'll get to live a decade longer than our grandparents, I'd love to live those extra years being autonomous, not plonked on a chair surrounded by strangers and busy underpaid nurses.
I hear you Debbie. Caring and caregiving is tough continuous dilemma, made even tougher by dementia, as you know very well. This is a thought provoking and difficult article. I don't think you're being hypocritical, there is a lot of love and care there.
I keep asking and gently probing for clarification of wishes. Dad voiced what he wanted even when he had bad days. It's easier with Mum. As Dad got worse we dispensed with the 'good for you' thoughts and he had a little whisky now and again, I found his favourite food. Towards the end I think Dad ate more to keep us happy than actually being hungry or enjoying food..but his eyes sparked at the little whisky ;-)
We do our best, we listen to the wishes of our loved ones that we care for, and hopefully we curate quality moments, memories.
That's beautiful Victoria. Thank you for sharing. Collective wisdom is so valuable. I am going to take this on board.
Thought provoking thank you Debbie. I too would rather go out with a bang enjoying what i can as opposed to wither away in cotton wool.
Now the challenge is for us to treat our elderly how we wish to be treated. For me, it's so natural to fall back into the protective cotton-wooling. I really need to be mindful to be true to my beliefs and values.
Definitely the latter!!