Singing with understanding

Home karaoke turned out to be more than we bargained for

February 2023

Frozen waterwheels, a frozen lake and frozen waterfalls! These were all so fascinating for our Aussie eyes to behold! I’d seen pictures and videos/movies of frozen lakes and stories of such winter wonderlands in the northern hemisphere, but a frozen waterfall was a new phenomenon to me! (Pictures are in the previous post here). And frozen condensation on our bedroom windows in the morning and frozen washing?! (Pics from a previous post are here.) It really was something to get excited over! Despite these novel winter experiences though, the kids (and secretly I) were still hoping for more. We still hadn’t received a really decent amount of snow.

And then it came.

One afternoon snow came and kept coming. It was predicted to reach 20cm deep. Not the sort of depth you get in northern Japan and other parts of the world, but it certainly was enough to really have fun! The kids were overjoyed! They spent hours playing with our neighbour, Hiroto, in his yard, first with a few snowball fights, then tobogganing and finally making snowmen. Bob and Hiroto proudly showed off their snowmen. Missy, however, kept rolling her ball of snow around the yard and it kept getting bigger and bigger until it was past her waist and reaching near her armpits! It sat as a frozen ball of snow for about two weeks before it finally all melted!

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We were just finishing dinner when Bob asked if we could sing karaoke. We have a karaoke mic and so Shujin connected his phone, pulled up a song and passed it to Okasan. “Ave Maria”. Maybe it wasn’t Bob’s style as, just 30 seconds into the song, he glanced at the screen, saw it was a loooooong 4 minute song and said he’d have enough time to have a shower before the song ended. So off he went and left us to enjoy the smooth notes of “Ave Maria”.

Missy sang next, she chose the Japanese national anthem and sang with great gusto. The kids had been singing it at school so she knew it fairly well. Once it was over she pulled up “Advance Australia Fair”, the Australian National Anthem and, with equal gusto, started singing.

Now, I don’t know what it is about this Aussie song but it really pulls on my emotions, but I told myself I had to hold it together. So I focused on enjoying Missy sing. But Shujin reached for the tissue boxed and passed it to Okasan. I turned to see her in a flood of tears so, of course, I couldn’t hold back! I went and gave her a hug and held her. Missy finished singing and Shujin looked at us from the other end of the table like, “What is wrong with you two ladies?”

Missy, of course, actually voiced her thoughts and asked, “Why are you crying, Baba?”

“You love Australia so much,” Okasan spoke through her tears, “but you came here to Japan to take care of me. Arigatou (Thank you).”

“But I love Japan too, Baba!” came the quick reply.

We mopped up our tears and pulled ourselves together and Shujin asked me which song I wanted to sing. I started scrolling through Spotify, wanting to find a song that wasn’t sentimental! I was too slow and Shujin passed me the mic, the introduction of the song was already starting. “Still”*. I almost handed the mic back.

I can’t do this one. Tears started streaming down my face. This song conjured up so many memories and I just couldn’t hold back.

I held the mic and stared at the lyrics. I didn’t need to read them, they were so well etched into my memory, but I stared anyway, giving myself something to focus on as I joined in on the opening line.

Hide me now, under your wings.

Tears streamed down my face, I don’t know how I managed to get any words out.

Cover me, within Your mighty hand.

I sensed Okasan beside me crying all over again which made me cry more. But I kept going as memories of good times filled me. Home. Family. Church. Friends. Campouts. Mission Trips. Youth group.

When the ocean rise and thunders roar,
I will sore with you above the storm,

Dark memories of the storms of life took centre stage. Especially the more recent storms. Lost jobs. Lost friends. Treated as societal outcasts for making a personal, conscientious medial choice. Betrayed by our own Church that we worked faithfully for and were loyal to for all our lives (lesson learnt!). Shujin’s father passing away. Leaving family and friends in Australia. Moving to Japan. Living in a house-built-for-two with six people. Caring for Okasan with dementia. Shujin finally getting a job after about 6 months of unemployment, only to absolutely hate it… And now, my dad’s cancer diagnosis.

Father you are king over the flood,

Yes, it really has felt like a flood of storms!

I will be still and know you are God.

Yes, let me be still. Let me hide under God’s wings of safety and be covered by His hands. Let me be sheltered from the storms of life.

I started on the second verse, amazed how I could sing and cry at the same time.

Find rest my soul, in Christ alone

Jesus says, “Come to me all you who are weak and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) Oh how my soul needed rest!

Know His power, in quietness and trust.

Hadn’t God proven Himself to me before? Hadn’t God been faithfully with me in all previous storms of life? Yes, He had! I have seen His power. I can quietly and confidently trust Him.

When the ocean rise and thunders roar,
I will sore with you above the storm,
Father you are king over the flood,
I will be still and know you are God.

I sang the last chorus with personal understanding, as though the lyrics were written just for me. I managed to finish the song, my body exhausted from the emotionally demanding experience, but my soul sitting in peace, resting in Jesus. I finished singing just as Bob returned from his (loooooong!) shower. I glanced up and Shujin was grabbing a tissue, his eyes red. Okasan was adding another tissue to the ever growing pile in front of her. I grabbed a new tissue and blew my nose. Bob stopped dead.

“What’s going on here??” he queried in absolute confusion! “Why are you all crying?”

Suddenly, we burst out laughing! Shujin claimed he must be getting old since he couldn’t hold back tears. We all cleaned ourselves up and then Shujin lightened the mood with good ol’ “Gangnam Style”. The kids were straight into the K-Pop moves while the shock of such music froze Okasan on the spot!

I sat back and enjoyed the lightened mood whilst also basking in the reminder that my God is powerful to help me and protect me through life storms. He has in the past, and He will continue to in the future.

*For those wishing to hear the song “Still”, you can find it on YouTube here.