Searching for Paradise
And receiving the Dementia Trophy
July 2024
“I’ve got the picnic bag!”
“Can you get the picnic rug?”
“Don’t forget your hat! Can you grab Okasan’s too?”
“I’ll close the windows!”
“Can you make the sure lights are turned off?”
“Did you get your drink bottle?”
Words were flying fast as we tried to get out the door and in the cars for a day out at the river. Shujin’s brother, Hiroki and his girlfriend, Kate, were visiting from America and Shujin had found a gorgeous looking river to visit.
The site boasted a waterfall, aqua water and unique rock formations, all in a forest-laden gorge. Claimed as a National Monument, we knew this slice of paradise couldn’t disappoint. I was keen!
It took great effort to get eight of us out of the house and into the cars, but we finally made it and were on the road, traveling to a new destination we’d not yet been too. Japan is a kinda small country, but there’s just so much to see! Shujin, my husband, whinges about having to travel for hours in Australia with nothing in between in order to visit some place of interest. In Japan, there’s so much to see in a relatively close proximity!
We wound our way around the mountain through the lush green landscapes, further away from civilization. It was summer. It was humid and it was hot. The anticipation of the river was all the more greater.
As we neared our destination the surrounds looked familiar. We had travelled this way before. The road followed alongside a river, way down in a gorge below. I wondered how far up the river we would travel. The more we travelled, the tighter the valley became.
“In 500 meters, your destination will be on the right,” came the directions from Ms Google Maps.
I looked ahead with anticipation which quickly turned to surprise. We’d been here before!
It had been several months prior, we’d been traveling along this road and stopped when we’d seen a few little market stands. It had been the end of the day so it had looked a bit sad. Now it was near midday and the place was swarming with people!
New developments had also taken place too. A new toilet block, a new building with a cafe, or was it two? And the carpark was at least triple the size now! I couldn’t believe we’d come here before and not realised there was a gorgeous river just below!
I felt like we had travelled into the wilderness, but with barely a free carpark to find, it didn’t feel very wilderness-y after all!
We piled out the car, each one of us grabbing something to hold for our much anticipated picnic by the river. The picnic bags, the picnic rugs, the cooler bag, a camp chair for Okasan, towels, the lot.
Curious me gravitated towards the new building and a had a sticky-beak. Many people were enjoying their morning cuppa. On the back side of the building I met up with Missy who had been skirting the place for river access. But all she found was a fence that stopped you from falling down the side of the steep gorge to the river below.
I looked left and right.
Nothing but fence. How to get down…???
I looked back towards the carpark. There wasn’t even any picnic area. Odd.
We had all sort of spread out and I thought I’d best locate where the others were. So, taking Missy with me, we headed towards the market stalls. As we made our way past people I started to notice something. No one was dressed for swimming. No one.
I looked around and saw everyone very well dressed, with very well presented clothing attire. And here’s the thing, in Japan, I hardly ever see anyone dressed like a dag or even with old clothes. I’m yet to work out if people here honestly just look after their clothes that well that they always look new, or people just don’t wear old clothes?!
Missy had noticed it too. Dressed in her swimmers, carrying her inflatable donut ready for a swim, she was feeling quite out of place! In Australia, if you turn up at a swimming location, you don’t see people dressed like they’re going out for dinner with their girlfriends!
The longer I walked around in my board shorts, the more out of place I was starting to feel too.
I managed to locate Shujin.
“Have you found how to get down to the river?” I queried.
“No, not yet,” he relied. “I’m just waiting for mum.” He motioned his head towards the toilet block. “She saw the toilet so needed to go.”
We both smiled in understanding. It was a common habit of her’s. Now that she was back home from hospital it was all these little things that were just part of life again.
Her broken ankle had fully healed and she no longer needed the cast. She had come home in time for Hiroki and Kate’s visit. The hospital had actually wanted to send her home sooner. We pushed back, explaining our house layout, restricted space and how our differing floor levels were a huge concern for us and could she please stay in hospital until she can learn to walk with just the cast and no crutches?
Meanwhile a lady from church, Mrs Oikawa, reached out and offered that Okasan could stay with her. The house was large enough and all one level. We were so grateful. It was planned that she would stay there for 3-4 weeks until she definitely didn’t need crutches.
After several weeks of Okasan staying with Mrs Oikawa, Mrs Oikawa confessed to Shujin how difficult it was to care for Okasan. “I don’t know how Debbie has done it for almost two years,” she said in admiration.
I know, I know, can someone please give me a trophy now? Haha!!
Caring for a dementia patient is tough and taxing, especially when they are living with you (or, you are living with them!). But actually, I do know how I have managed to care for Okasan for almost 2 years.
God has truly blessed me with a special gift, to be able to live with AND take care of her with her dementia. The forgetfulness and repeated stories from Okasan, and repeated instruction from me, doesn’t drive me crazy and for the most part, it just washes over me.
It can still be taxing, and getting almost 2 months break because she broke her ankle was fabulous, but when Okasan returned home I knew I could cope. God would give me strength.
I waited for Okasan to finish in the toilet while Shujin went to find the others.
When Okasan emerged we headed in the direction Shujin had gone and I soon found him and the others enjoying the shops and market stalls. They didn’t seem as eager to get to the river as I was! I left Okasan with Shujin and thought to walk a little further to see if there was any river access passed the market stalls.
I didn’t have to walk far before I noticed a gap in the fence with a sign. Bingo! That must be it! I quickened my pace, grateful for the tall trees overhead that offered their shade in this humid heat.
I reached the gap and saw many stairs descending down the gorge toward the river. Excitement filled me but was quickly snatched away from the glaring sign:
No Swimming?!
Hugely disappointed, but also seeing the funny side, I laughed, took a pic and sent it to Shujin. I didn’t even bother with typing a message!
“Mum!” It was Bob, bounding up the stairs.
“Mum! I found the river! There’s like a thousand steps to get down there! And we can’t swim! It looks amazing, I want to jump off the rocks in the water! The water is blue! And there’s a waterfall! But there’s nowhere to sit! You can’t go down to the water! You can only look at it from the platform!” His words tumbled out of him just as fast as the river that was flowing below.
No swimming.
What an absolute shame! Not even a picnic area!
Bob ran to find Shujin and alerted him to the bad news before he had even checked his phone messages.
Our dreams of a beautiful day by the river all fell in a heap and we wandered around like lost souls. What to do now?
We tried to find river access as we made our way back, but there just didn’t seem to be anywhere that the public could access the river!
Defeated, we gave up, had lunch and drove to our local river close by home. Our secret waterhole, we fell in love all over again.
Crystal clear water. A waterfall. A swimming hole. Rapids to float down. Rocks to sunbathe on. Moss, moss moss! Cool forest air and no crowds to compare our clothing attire to!
Ah, this is Paradise!
It was so nice to be felt “seen” with the caring I do for Okasan. What unseen role have you done/are doing, that you’d like acknowledged?
Darn it! The waterfall and pool look SO inviting! Beautiful.