After last week’s posts about the Prayer House, I was honestly expecting at least one comment along the lines of “Taking on an old house that needs renovations?? NO! Don’t go there! Save your energy! Save your marriage! Save your bank account!!” But no such comment came. Instead of warnings, I received support and affirmation. Thank you for the kind words ❤️ Perhaps everyone is understanding my need, our need, for more space!
October 2023
It was Sunday morning, we were eating breakfast and Shujin and I made the announcement that we would be inspecting a house.
“What? Are we moving?!” Missy was surprised.
“Well, maybe. We’re justing going to have a look at a house and see if it would be suitable for us,” I tried to explain.
“Which house? Where?” Both children chorused in unison.
“The Prayer House, the one owned by the Baptist Church.”
I knew what was coming. I was not disappointed. Missy does not have the ability to hold a Poker face, and at the mention of that house, her face was the height of absolute disgust.
“That old place! I don’t want to live there!” She spat the words out. Clearly I’d just shattered any visions of new houses that had popped into her mind just seconds prior.
It was certainly not up to Missy’s standards for the sort of house she would choose to live in. Bob wasn’t so excited either, but as soon as breakfast was over, he was up and out the door before the rest of us, riding his bike down the street and had been through the whole house before we even got to the front door!
“It’s so cool! I want one of the bedrooms upstairs!”
His enthusiasm filled my heart with joy and must have piqued Missy’s interest. Mrs Obara, a lady in our village who was entrusted with holding the key for the Prayer House, met us out the front. All smiles, she greeted us in her usual friendly manner. Missy took the time to greet her and then made a beeline for the front door.
I lingered back with Shujin. I was a little disappointed that Bob had already seen the house, Missy was rushing in without us, and we weren’t all together, to look together. I didn’t get to be with everyone, to hear all their opinions! I wanted to be there when the kids raced up the stairs and inspected the bedrooms and see if they were excited about sleeping upstairs, and which room they might pick out. To be there when they discovered the mini room upstairs and hear what they thought it was and what they would use it for. I wanted to see their reaction to the strangely designed bathroom and the toilet!
Instead, I chose to witness Shujin’s reaction. In the end, it didn’t matter so much what my kids thought, but what my husband thought. He looked the place over, without the reactions that the kids would give, but was impressed enough.
Looking through the house a second time, it didn’t feel quite so spacious now. In my mind’s memory, the living room was so large! But in reality, it was a cozy living room. Not big enough for a six setting dining table plus a lounge. Never mind, it was big enough. And I still loved the spacious bedrooms. Loved that there was a spare room. Loved the layout. Loved the sunny, well-lit aspect. And Shujin loved the land and its location. Even for Australian standards, the yard was huge. And it was pretty much flat. It had a few cherry blossom trees and shrubs around the fence line, and one persimmon tree by the house. And it was on the top part of the village, not the bottom of the hill, which was another bonus.
Shujin talked with Mrs Obara, I imagined she probably had some inside knowledge about the house, and I ventured outside to find Missy. She had finished inspecting inside the house and was now looking outside. Her whole demeanor had had a 180 degree turn around. She was excited.
“Mummy, if I have that bedroom up there, we can put a verandah outside and I can have a hammock swing!”
Missy pointed to the bedroom on the second floor. We could see the glass sliding doors that currently opened onto nothing. A verandah would be perfect. I joined her in the dreams, suggesting the veranda wrap around the corner to the other glass sliding door in the bedroom. It could extend over to the glass sliding doors in the next bedroom!
The conversation twisted and turned as we talked about the dreams for the house, the colour we’d paint the outside, whether we’d keep the persimmon tree and if Okasan was going to move in with us. Bob joined us and his dreams included a soccer field for the yard, building a brick wall on the boundary so he could kick his ball against it and having permanent soccer goals set up.
“So, what do you think?”
Shujin had finished discussing whatever he was discussing with Mrs Obara and I was keen to know his opinion.
“Yep, we’ll take it.”
“It needs a lot of work, can you do it? Will it be worth it?” I really liked the place and would have gladly moved in at once, but there was obvious renovation needs and I wasn’t naive to how much effort, time and money it could take.
Shujin was still positive. However we still had a list of houses to look at first, before making a definite decision. Yes, we were on a mission on this autumn morning: house hunting!
With a village map in one hand (yes the paper variety, so novel!) and the list of houses for sale in the other, we said goodbye to Mrs Obara and started down the street. All of us were on a high, excited about the prospect of living in the Prayer House, or perhaps finding another, more suitable (aka immediately livable) place.
Okasan, on the other hand, was in tears. Shujin put his arm around her shoulder as we walked down the street towards the next house. He tried comforting her but the thought of us moving out was too upsetting for her. I knew Shujin’s heartstrings were being pulled and torn. We had moved to Japan for the purpose of caring for his mum. It was for her! Was it right to now move out??
Call me callous, but I didn’t feel bad at all. Her tears had no effect on me. We'd be six houses away for goodness sake! (If we lived in the Prayer House). I had already decided I would still cook for her. She would join us three times a day for meals. She could hang out with us, and when she needed to, she could go home and have peace!
We’ll all have our own space when needed. Bob will have his own space. Inside and outside. Even though Okasan wanted to keep us at her place, I really felt that it would be better for her if Bob and her were living under separate roofs!
We approached the first house on the list of Houses for Sale in our village. There was no “For Sale” sign out the front. And herein lies a strange fact about Japan. I do not see “For Sale” signs on houses. I’ve not seen one! Seems so strange to me, coming from Australia where you have to display a “For Sale” sign out the front when selling your home with a real estate agent!
The house was a log house. Not that uncommon in Japanese countrysides. The house was Missy’s dream. She was so excited that this house was available! Not currently inhabited, we walked around the outside, noted the woodpecker holes, noted the very shady yard, noted the five neighbouring houses all built within meters of this house, and decided it wasn’t going to be suitable for us.
Thankfully, Missy was not so disappointed, now that she had her heart set on the Prayer House, she was already imagining life there.
We continued on down the street, doing a walk-by of the 10 or so houses that were for sale. None of them were a good fit. Most were far too small. The only other sizable house was not only far too pricey, but in a bad location, and with no yard.
We didn’t go home dejected by all the disappointments. We went home elated, filled with hope and prayer for a home that might soon be our’s.
All hearts had been stollen by the Prayer House.
You raised a fair point, you moved there to care for Okasan, but now you're moving out. Yes, even 6 houses down the road is technically 'out'. Tears wouldn't have an effect on me either. I might be cold but, the in-laws are not exactly the people we chose, they are there by default. Sometimes one gets lucky and gets a second family, other times there's a bit of pulling...