July 2023
We’d had fun and adventure on the first few days of the holidays, which happened to be over the weekend. Now it was Monday, time to get serious! At breakfast, my sister in-law, Yumi, said that she would like her boys to be doing their homework every morning after breakfast. I’m still getting used to the concept of primary school kids needing to do homework every weekend, let alone in the school holidays!! Actually, we complained to Missy’s teacher that she was getting too much. Why would kids need to do another 2 hours of school work each day, after spending all day at school??!! The teacher was very apologetic and said she gave Missy less than the rest of the class, but she would cut back. That was months ago.
The emphasis and pressure on study in Japan had always been one of my concerns if we were to ever live here. Kids are trained and pressured to study, study, study, encouraged to get good grades in primary school so they can enter a good Junior High. Then they are pressured to study, study, study to get good grades in Junior High so they can enter a good High School. Then they are pressured to study, study, study to get good grades in High School so they can enter a good university. Then they are pressured to study, study, study, to get good grades in university so they can get a good job with a good company and work, work, work and earn the company money. And yes, how nice to earn a good wage, but what’s the point if you don’t have time? The Japanese live to work. I prefer to work to live so I can enjoy life along the way.
There’s pressure in Australia for Year 11 and 12 students to do well so they can get into the university course of their choosing, but it’s nothing compared to what kids go through in Japan. It’s almost like kids here have next to no life outside of school. And for what? So they can reach the prize of work, work, work in order to make money for a company! No thanks. I want my kids to have a childhood, enjoy playing, exploring, imagining, building, and even just getting bored. When my kids are adults, I want them to still know how to play, create and have fun, not just work.
I had been concerned that, if we were to raise our children in Japan, they would get swept along with this Japanese way. Despite not liking it, Shujin had the attitude of, ‘Well you can’t really help it when you live in Japan because that’s the expectation.’ Thankfully, now that we are living here, Shujin’s mindset has shifted. Once upon a time, you had to get a education and qualification to get a good job to earn a good wage. But now? Things have changed. So now we don’t expect our kids to do any homework. Of course, if they want to do it, no problem, go for it! They will actually be learning if they take the initiative to do homework, rather than being forced to. Shujin has told their teachers our views, and said they are welcome to continue giving the homework, but we won’t force our kids do it. The teachers have been very understanding and accepting. Amazing really.
So, my kids had come home from school on the last day of term with a pile of homework to do. Like, a pile that was an inch thick. Amongst the pile was a special Summer Holiday Homework Book just for the occasion. My, some publishing company is making a mint printing off those for every school student in Japan! I had been surprised at how much was expected, but I had no expectation that my kids would do much of it, if any.
Yumi, on the other hand, had brought along her kids homework. So after breakfast, they sat down and did some. My kids joined them.
It was the last time the kids opened up their homework!
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August 2023
Bob and Missy were so excited, they were practically packing bags already. I had just booked tickets home to Australia in September! That was just next month! EEEEEEKKKKK!!!!! Jetstar had released a sale. Fly to Australia and your return flight would be just $50. FIFTY DOLLARS! Shujin had seen the sale and encouraged me to visit while we had the opportunity. The deal was too good to pass up. It would be just me and the kids. They had started planning what to take and dreaming about the people they would see and the food they would eat in Australia! Me on the other hand, wasn’t so much thinking about what to take to Australia, but rather, what to bring back from Australia! I had started making an ever growing list of things to bring back to Japan.
Shujin said we only needed to book in one suitcase between the kids and me. I was happy to take just one suitcase to Australia, but only bringing one back… are you kidding? I was definitely bringing back two, one would be full of chick peas, lentils and veggie stock powder (MSG free!)! Plus some Bonds socks and underwear and, of course, Australian SHORTS!! WOOHOO!!! Boy I could hardly wait!! Oh, and a wooden spoon. I just couldn’t seem to find a round wooden spoon for baking cakes and biscuits. They all seem to be square shaped for stir fries! What did people use in Japan for baking?? Oh, that’s right, they don’t bake ‘cause the ovens aren’t real ovens and they suck!! Haha!! And why would the average person bake when you could go to patisseries and buy reasonably priced goodies professionally made? The patisseries here are seriously good!
Whilst we were anticipating a holiday back to Australia, we still had a month of summer holidays here in Japan to get through! The days were super hot (temperatures in the late 30’s, early 40’s celcius) but on this night the evening air was friendly warm as we entered the village party. Hand made lanterns hung at the entrance. It was a reminder that I had missed that craft morning. I would have loved to learn how to make those cute lanterns from wheat stalks! But enough of that, we were here for the village party; a night with live music, food and drink, many had chosen to attend. The band had already started playing the country-style music and people sat at tables around the lawn, with gazebo’s sheltering them.
Missy and Bob and the two cousins had fast found Hiroto and the five of them made a beeline for the monkey bars. Us adults sat at a table, snacking on the food whilst we chatted. I passed the bento box to Okasan to offer her some food, grateful that her strict Pemphigus diet was no longer needed. It had worked. The inflammation had reduced, the painful itchy blisters had healed and now we were back to an easier diabetes diet. Still restricted, but as far as I was concerned, it was pretty normal. At least you could eat all fruit and vegetables!! The main thing was to keep the balance right at each meal, with half the plate veggies, a quarter protein and a quarter healthy carbs. She’d also had her regular check-up and her blood results were really good. So good in fact, that she no longer needed insulin! I felt very encouraged by the results! All the hard effort I had put in had been rewarded!
The music turned lively and was enticing movement. A lady was on her feet, dancing to the tune, hands waving high. Another joined her, skirt swishing. They managed to pull others from the comfort of their seats up into the central dancing space. I watched from my distance of safety, enjoying the show, but also slightly disappointed in myself that my inhibitions held me back. Why can’t I just dance and have fun? She came our way, trying to drag people into joining her. I held my place, wishing I could let go, but too scared to.
The party carried on, the sun set, and the night sky drew in. With the remaining daylight, it was time for watermelon cracking. It looked like it was going to be similar to a piñata, but at ground level. I was keen to see the action and made my way over to get a front row view. I sat down on the soft, cool grass and Kiyo sat with me, beer in hand. All the kids were lined up, shortest to tallest. Hiroto had the privilege of going first. Being so young, they put the blindfold on the next child, but let Hiroto see. They gave him a long stick, led him to the blue tarp laid out on the ground and let him take the fist hit at the watermelon that sat in the middle of the tarp.
He took a big swing and made a crack! Kiyo and I cheered for her son’s achievement. The stick was given to the next child. Blindfolded, he was spun around and then led to the tarp. He took a hit and missed. The stick was given to the next child, and as he stood there blindfold and slightly dizzy from the spin, the adults were yelling out instructions, “A little to the right! No, to the left! Take one step closer! To the right!” The child took a hit and missed. “Awwww” chorused the crowd as the child passed the stick and blindfold to the next kid. And so it went, one after the other, each child having a turn, but most kids missing! Finally, our little cousin took a swing and CRACK! The watermelon broke open, smaller pieces spraying in all directions. Cheers went up with smiles all round. The watermelon pieces were collected, cut up, and then handed around to everyone.
Kiyo and I continued chatting as we sat on the grass. The party was winding up but we weren’t in a hurry so let the activity swirl around us. Kiyo’s mum came by, they had a brief conversation and after she left Kiyo turned to me in bewilderment. “Mum thinks I’m drunk. I don’t feel drunk. Do you think I am?”
“No! You don’t appear drunk to me! I think you would know if you were!” Wouldn’t you?
“That’s so strange!” She was clearly bewildered.
“Maybe it’s because we’re sitting on the grass? Japanese don’t sit on the grass. It must look strange to her!” It was the only explanation I could think of.
“Maybe…”
We both laughed, amused at her mum, at Japanese culture and how much of a contrast it can be to Aussie culture!
With the party over, we gathered up our goods and the kids, said goodbyes and started for home. We walked past the lanterns, now all aglow with a coloured candle inside each lantern. We ooo’d and ahhh’d over them. Some village ladies were standing by and told us to take one each. I then realised others were taking them too. The kids eagerly picked up a lantern, a special token from a beautiful summer’s night of village warmth.