Christmas Tree war zone
December 2022
The idea of setting up the Christmas Tree always brought feelings of joy and anticipation in me. Until I had children…. Well.... it stills brings feelings of joy and anticipation, but I don’t know why because somehow each year it doesn’t end up being the romanticised expectation I have of the event. This year was no exception. It was going fine. Bob was dishing out who got to do what. Missy gets to open the box. Bob gets to put the tree on the stand. Missy gets to put these decorations on. Bob gets to put those on, etc, etc. But Missy wanted to help with the lights or the tinsel or something. And Bob got his knickers in a knot over it. I stood by and questioned why everything had to be divided up, why couldn't they just do it together??? In the end Bob got so mad he told Missy he was "pissed off" (yes, he used those exact words. Shujin and I don’t sware so I was near horrified.) So I removed him and put a big pause on the whole thing. The scene, in a small cleaning of the tatami room, looked like carnage with a half dressed tree, empty box and plastic packaging strewn to the side, decorations abandoned on the floor like wounded soldiers and a sprinkling of green plastic from the tree was scattered on the floor like mouldy snow.
My heart sank. So much for a time of joy.
They got over their debacle and came back to the tree later that evening. I don't know who did what but the tree got finished and then they proudly carried it into their bedroom and placed beside their bed with presents under it. Well, no, the presents didn’t actually fit under it, they were placed beside it, haha!!!
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It was my third time to go to the post office to send a parcel or letter to Australia. I was feeling confident this time so Bob and I went alone. It was rather brave of me considering the previous trips... The first one was to post a $1 packet of rice crackers to Bob’s friend and that cost me over $30… And the next time I tried to post three letters Missy had written to her friends and that was met with its own dramas...
Now, Bob and I entered the post office together. I had previously been educated in using the Japan Post website to obtain a printed EMS packing label. And I had already entered all the details online and have the unique QR code. I walked in confidently and placed the parcel on the counter and presented the QR code. They took me over to the scanner/printer. I was impressed with the service. My QR code scanned and the label machine instantly spat out the labels that I needed. I passed them to the clerk to stick on the parcel. I'd hate to get it wrong! She read over it and halted. "Soy sauce bottle, lid"? She slowly said the words. Oh no, she thinks I'm posting soy sauce!
"Soy sauce, no" and I crossed my hands the Japanese way to indicate there wasn’t any soy sauce in the parcel.
I quickly glanced around and conveniently there were some bottles for sale of something very good to drink on the counter near me. I picked one up. "Lid" I repeat a few times as I pointed to the lid.
"Cap?" she queried.
“Yes! Yes! Cap!” I exclaimed.
"No soy sauce?" she queried.
"No soy sauce,” I repeated.
“Cap" she confirmed.
"Yes, cap,” I agreed.
She gave a little laugh and smiled with understanding, and probably relief. I took a breath. Labels were peeled and stuck and just like that my parcel was accepted and ready to be posted! I’d have been walking out of the post office with exhilaration for my accomplishments, except for the fact that it cost ¥3,000 (over $30) to post it….. sorry Shujin!
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Movement at the kitchen glass sliding door caught my eye and I instinctively turned to look. Bob and Okasan were standing just outside the door. For a little moment I forgot about the chopping, stirring and cooking, and just observed. Bob was helping Okasan and being rather gentle and speaking very kindly to her. My heart warmed. This was a side of Bob that we saw a lot when he was 2 and 3 years old. Kind and caring. Now, all these years later, I often lamented over where that kind heart went to. But here I see it in action and there is not just warmth in my heart, but some relief too. That kind heart is still there. Maybe living with his grandma will help bring out the best in Bob.
The two of them stayed outside, burning garden waste on the burn pile. I went back to cooking and left them be.
Some time later, when it was dark outside and dinner was almost ready, it occurred to me that Bob was inside but I hadn’t noticed Okasan. I called out to her, but no answer. I asked the children, “Where’s Babba?” they didn’t know. “Did she in come with you when you came inside?” I queried Bob. No she hadn’t. I opened the kitchen glass sliding door and called out. No answer. Fear gripped me. It was dark. I didn’t know how long she’d been gone for. Shujin was due to come home soon and would I need to tell him, I’ve lost your mum???